Things are looking better...not how I envisioned it

Mood: meh...

Had to take the cat to the vet dentist today.  $600 and minus 1 fang later, she is home: eating, enjoying her narcotics high, and getting attention from her boy baby, who apparently missed her.

I received a phone call from a local medical group.  I had applied for a phlebotomist position there this week.  I had originally worked in the field 15 years ago.  Left it when I was hired at a call center making more money with better benefits.  That is the same Fortune 500 company that I left last year.  I enjoyed the work, but it really was a career path with little movement unless I went back to school.  I thought about becoming a Med Tech, but it really isn't my bag.  I am still a computer geek at heart.  However, the more I thought of it, at least working as a phlebotomist will make me a little more physically active that a desk job.  The position I applied for is a PRN (as necessary) position, so at least I can pick & choose my days/times.  I was very flattered that this group called me today to say that they sent me an email the day before and were following up because they hadn't seen my response to it.  The email was a request to schedule a phone interview with a hiring leader.  I had responded to the email, but there were no slots open on the calendar.  They informed me they were aware of the issue and to please try again.  Last week I felt so rejected, this week I feel that someone sees my worth.  Too bad that this is not the career path I am interested in.  I will however keep the option open.  If the pay is good and the hours decent, this may be the avenue I need to take to continue my schooling.

Tomorrow (or later today since it is almost 2am) I will be getting a haircut.  I was putting it off until I got a job, but it has been almost 6 months now.  My hair grows very fast and considering my gray hairs are coming out in full force, I need to get those under control.  Tori wants her dye her hair as well.  She has been doing good caring for her hair, so I will allow it.  I think she would look good as a Gingie.  hahaha  She has the right coloring and with her hazel eyes, she could pull off any color with the exception of black.

Meeting my good friend Sara for breakfast, so I am hoping the day turns out to be a good one.  I have promised to make a nice dinner for my nephew who finally found a job.  The dinner will be Sunday night, before the latest episode of the Walking Dead.  My nephew likes to play games, so I will make sure we get to do that as well.  I have a feeling we will be stuck with Monopoly (Star Wars), but I can live with that.

Note to self: make sure to pick up the iPad version of the Monopoly game at Barnes & Noble tomorrow.  Might make the game a little more enjoyable.

Fish kill count: 0  - Might have to stop keeping track of it.

Another week, another ho-hum day

Mood: Blah

Well, last week was exciting.  Went through the whole emotional gambit.  Stick me with a fork, I'm done.  I'm glad the week was over.  At least I'm good now.  The week ended well.  Unfortunately, the only things I can think upon with fondness are what I watched at the theater and on TV.  I did go to a card party.  It is a quarterly thing with some friends of mine.  That was fun.  I enjoy hanging out with those ladies.

Watched Skyfall, the new Bond flick.  Holy cow what a good movie.  We get some background on Bond's childhood, what made him a successful candidate for the 00 program.  Not much, but enough to make you want to see if they do any more in future movies.  Javier Bardem made a wicked villain.

Walking Dead was good.  This week's episode showed Rick losing his mind, finding out a walker ate his dead wife.  Darryl and Maggie going out to find food for the "little ass-kicker".  The Governor is messed up! Fo' Sure!  I'm glad I got into this show.  It is gory and nasty, but the story is intriguing.

Filed my weekly unemployment claim, looking for more work again this week.  Not going whole-hog until my unemployment is exhausted, but for now I am looking for something comparable to my old job.

Wish me luck!

Should've known better

Mood: Depressed/Rejected

I didn't get the job.  Found out yesterday.  The reason I was given was not the reason I was expecting.  I immediately take the rejection personally, knowing that I shouldn't do that.  So I'm trying to decide how to process this for my sanity.  Do I just forget that I even tried for the job? or try to move on?  I really thought I had a good shot at it.  I knew better than to get too excited.  Every time I do I just get disappointed more.  I'm trying to stay positive, but it is difficult.  I just don't want to go back a few steps.  I deserve better...dammit.  (I'm hoping if I say it enough that I'll start to believe it.)  I hate this part of myself.  The worse part of this is my family having to tiptoe around me.  They want to comfort me. I don't want it.  I want to wallow in my misery.  They hate that.  They want me to snap out of it.  I want to snap out of it.  My head is so f*cked up.  I blame it on my mom.  I actually have a therapist that can support me on that.  Oh well...

Going to leave the house tomorrow.  Just need to get out.  I need to do some knitting.  That will calm me.

All fish still living.

Praying that Tori makes the middle school cheerleading squad.  I don't think I will handle it if she is rejected as well.

I hate waiting

Mood: Frustrated

Still haven't heard about my job.  My frustration stems from trying to gather the balls to contact HR to see if a decision has been made or contact the hiring leader that I know personally to see if she has decided.  I don't want to irritate the hiring leader, and I haven't had good experiences with HR.  I have told myself if I don't hear by tomorrow I will contact the hiring leader to see if she has made a decision.  I really want this job.  Have I mentioned that already?

Putting up Halloween stuff, putting out the harvest decorations.  Scotty has fixed my oven so know I can actually cook a good dinner this year.  We missed out on Christmas dinner last year.  I think I will be happy having dinners at the new house.

All fish still alive.  That's more than I can say about two main characters on The Walking Dead.  lol

First Time Voter

Mood: Proud

Many things to be proud of today:

• Tori not only made All County Orchestra, but HONORS All County.
• Voted for the first time in my life.  I'm almost 40.  That's a big deal.
• Didn't kill any fish today.

I'm very proud of my daughter.  I'm glad she is not shy to try out for new things.  Finishing them is another matter, but trying them out, she is usually toward the front of the line.  Making 5th chair in the orchestra is a proud moment for her as well.  She is  much like me where she never really tries to be 1st at anything, but she is pleasantly surprised when she does better then she expected.  She honestly thought she had failed her audition.  Very happy for her.  She was thankful to both her cousin for giving her the viola she uses and her brother for just being in orchestra and inspiring her to join.  I guess all of those concerts I dragged her to as a child were worth it.

Went to the library and took advantage of my right to vote.  Hopefully I made the right choice.  We will find out in a couple of years...if we don't all die this December...

Fish kill count: 0  'nuff said.

Why I'm thankful today?

The latest Karen Marie Moning book finally showed up at Audible for downloading today.  I will be listening to Iced for the rest of the night.  It is almost 15 hours long, so may take most of the weekend, but I will be enjoying it I'm sure.

So begins the month of being thankful...

Mood: Content

After reading many posts on Facebook today, many of my friends will be posting a reason they are thankful every day for the next 30 days.  While I applaud the ideal, I can only read so many posts of parents being thankful for their kids, wives/husbands being thankful for their spouses, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the sentiment, but after awhile it just seems typical, boring, same ol'-same ol'.  I haven't been wow'd by any one's prose yet.  Sometimes it is nice to hear about being thankful for the little things.  I guess that can get hokey too.  Oh well...

Spent the day with hubby today.  With it being the day after Halloween we spent the morning shopping for next year's props at clearance prices.  Hubby loves his Halloween.  I don't have the heart to deny him any of his purchases.  He lets me indulge the rest of the year.  I'm just grateful that he is at least waiting for after the holiday to make his big purchases in order to save some money.  Ah!  A reason to be thankful.  Check!

Had to make a run to Petco to return my dead fish.  I was very appreciative to the salesperson the day before when I was buying decorations for the fish tank that she proactively explained to me that all of their fish had a 30 day warranty. (Another reason to be thankful!)  I had mentioned to her earlier that I had purchased an Elephant Ear Betta fish the day before and decided to "pretty up" his tank.  The fish seemed to be a little antsy to me.  I guess he didn't like his purple rocks and bright plants.  When I woke this morning, he had buried his face at the base of the tall plastic plant and died.  I choose not to think that he committed suicide, but honestly, I don't know if his behavior wasn't some form of fishy anxiety attack.  

Those darn Elephant Ear Bettas are expensive, so after going back to the store to get a refund, I decided to spend an hour in the Betta department to scout out my replacement.  While I was drawn to the pretty fish, I really wanted a fish with some personality.  I currently have a Betta that I purchased a few weeks ago.  Believe it or not, he is very friendly.  He sits by my computer, stares at me when he wants food, and swims around entertaining me.  He doesn't do much, but I swear he likes me.  I wanted to find another fish like him.  My hours had to picking up and returning many a Betta, until I started looking at the very plain but attentive female Betta.  She is mostly pale with some red.  However her eyes look like she is wearing lots of eyeliner and she kept looking at me, as if pleading for me to pick her over the others.  I was already leaning toward choosing a baby Betta - Petco's version of a grab bag.  Don't know what type of Betta it is or if it is a boy or girl, but buy it for a couple of bucks, wait a few weeks, and with some research, discover what you end up with.  This little baby was very attentive too.  After looking at the prices, I discovered I could buy both fish, and still walk away with a sizable refund.  Hmmm...females and babies not being as expensive as a pretty male, who'd have thunk it?  Anyway, I am very happy with my new friends.  They already recognize me and wait at the top of the tank for their next helping of freeze dried bloodworms.  Yuck...

So, I'm content.  Little girl had her All County orchestra tryout, but she is confident that she didn't make it sense she messed up on her piece.  Little boy is excited to vote tomorrow.  This will be his first election.  Embarassed to say, it will be mine as well (and hubby), so it will be a family event going to the voting booths for the first time.

I'm waiting to see if I am offered a job back at the company that I left last year.  While grateful (Thanks again!) that I had time off to work through my grief, I really need a job.  Financially we are doing ok, but we have NO benefits.  No insurance.  Nothing.  I need all of that back.  I can't believe how all of that worries me more than the money.  Don't know how I will feel if I get a decline.  No, I know.  I'll feel miserable.  This is the first job I've applied to that I know that I will enjoy doing AND I know I can do very well at.  I guess we will see.  I'm suppose to hear an answer by tomorrow, but delays are always good news.  Means they are declining everyone else before they offer to you.  PLEASE let it be me.

It's 2011 - where have I been?

Holy crap -- has it really been since 2009 that I've blogged?  Well, many things have happened to explain it, so I don't feel too bad.  My life since 2009:

• I'm unemployed after 15 years at a Fortune 500 company.
• My 9 year-old nephew passed away after a horrible, painful illness.
• Trying to figure out all of these emotions that I've saddled myself with that have surfaced.
• Deciding to go back to school, get a degree, and finally start on a career path that I will enjoy.

I need to be a little more disciplined with this blog.  Maybe I can do something about that since I'm unemployed.