Should've known better

Mood: Depressed/Rejected

I didn't get the job.  Found out yesterday.  The reason I was given was not the reason I was expecting.  I immediately take the rejection personally, knowing that I shouldn't do that.  So I'm trying to decide how to process this for my sanity.  Do I just forget that I even tried for the job? or try to move on?  I really thought I had a good shot at it.  I knew better than to get too excited.  Every time I do I just get disappointed more.  I'm trying to stay positive, but it is difficult.  I just don't want to go back a few steps.  I deserve better...dammit.  (I'm hoping if I say it enough that I'll start to believe it.)  I hate this part of myself.  The worse part of this is my family having to tiptoe around me.  They want to comfort me. I don't want it.  I want to wallow in my misery.  They hate that.  They want me to snap out of it.  I want to snap out of it.  My head is so f*cked up.  I blame it on my mom.  I actually have a therapist that can support me on that.  Oh well...

Going to leave the house tomorrow.  Just need to get out.  I need to do some knitting.  That will calm me.

All fish still living.

Praying that Tori makes the middle school cheerleading squad.  I don't think I will handle it if she is rejected as well.